Ok .. just realised something so dumbb .. didnt wann someone to know the blog address .. bt i forgot and told Joan my address ( bt i forgot in the end ) and forgot to tell her not to tell anyone .

But oh well since he knows , there's nothing i can do about it .

Though of course i'm kinda worried that he would take whatever i'm trying to let out here and ' shoot' it back against me. I'm not even having anything that i'm saying here against him. All i'm doing is asking questions and just typing out what i can't say. (writing would be too tiring)

But i don't know ... i really don't know/understand ...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I respect the fact that you want your privacy.

But not to the extent where you don't tell me or other people their mistakes

With you getting madder by the second, minute , day

When you finally blow out at us

Its all wrong.

I'm not saying that you have to let it out

I'm in no position to say

But since i know that you're reading this

At least i think i do

Then maybe

Can you please comprehend with this pain that i'm feeling?

I'm not asking you to take it away

Nor am i asking you to numb it

I didn't say that ...

Why are there misunderstandings?

Because there are no confrontations.

Why aren't there any confrontations?

How would i know ?

I'm finding comfort in pain

All pleasure's the same

I'm not asking you to come forth with me

Why is this happening

But i just wished that you told me

What was it that you are unhappy with me about

Yet no ...

How would i know what did i do

When you never tell me

Your sentence

" You Should Know What You Did"

Doesn't work on me

I'm not god

Even if you're not asking me to be one

But why is it just so hard for you to tell me ?

Is it alot?

Then if it is ..

Then what's the load , uncertainty that i'm carrying?

The talks of me behind my back by you

If i'm wrong about it

then tell me

You never thought that i had a reason

did you?

And you were my friend

Yet you couldn't tell me, what you thought of me

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Its so sadd.

When i looked at this sec 1 boy

Memories flew back

Times at the PAC room

The joy and fun that i found down there

Earlier this year

Before all this 'stuff'

Its practically all about me

Like everything's my fault

"Yuan Ting did this . .that's why its like that. "

That's how I feel

If that's what they call overreacting

Then i really have nothing to say

If they call that jumping into conclusions

Why haven't they put themselves in my shoes

How would they feel ?

Would they say

" wow , this feeling is wonderful. come backstabb me somemore"

Who likes to be stabbed like that?

So much unhappiness

Spending half my time crying

Be it inside or with tears

Having to find out

The terrible truth

Maybe you think that i'm all in the wrong

Have you ever put yourself in my shoes?

Yt'

would you like it this way?

then maybe you'll know why am i acting this way