Sunday, October 28, 2007 @Sunday, October 28, 2007
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Do you know how it feels to be like this ? Went out to Century Square this morning to HECOM. Bought 2 new beds and mattress. House's getting a new makeover with brighter colours. Went home after that. Mum and Dad went for some fengshui thing. Dog keeps barking. Sister's exams is tomorrow yet she's totally slacking. Oh god.
Jogging with Grace tomorrow. Dunno if i'm up to it. (just being lazy) But i think i will. Pigged on food today. Its really nice ok. You can't blame me. Ok , maybe you can for not controlling. Okay whatever.Almost set my table on fire (by mistake, i swear). Bbq at Joan's house tmr. (if she can book the pit ; hopefully so. but food?)
I know, lesser updates.Stayed at home the whole day. What can you expect? Ok, yes emotional time now but really its better to let it out isn't it? Anyway, i had some dream last night which was like he and i were walking along some path , what i don't know, where i don't know either. But i think its somewhere along school cause i distinctly remember that we were wearing school uniforms. (kinda miss school and mates) He was telling me about some reasons why we couldn't be together. blablabla then woke up. Really confusing.
I'm really confused.Yes. I am. How can i put it? I really have to go. Its like there's no point continuing.I'm not trying to sound noble or anything but maybe its time i come to my senses that you really aren't worth it. I know that so much. But its not easy letting go. Sometimes i don't think you understand what it feels like to be this way. All confused , wishing i could tell you. But sometimes when i look back , i really feel sad for you. Its like .. you don't really have anyone. There's so many things you do without even knowing. I wish you would open your eyes and ears to see and listen. Just once, you'll understand. But you refuse to do so. I don't understand why. I may be able to tolerate most of the time. No one told me the right way to go about this. So i figured it out for myself. Cause how much is too much to give you ? Well i never knew so i gave until there's nothing else. I had regrets though i gave until there's nothing left. I somehow arrive on that conclusion that you weren't really that worth after thinking so much even though i give until there's nothing else. Until it all ends out i really still don't wish to see you like that. I need a change. I have to stop giving in to you. I shouldn't have regrets ... Until it all ends out. Yt'
I need a change.
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