Wednesday, May 14, 2008 @Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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after all a miracle existed. School-ed today.
falalalala.
Got back chemistry.
Okayy, i don't wanna talk about MYE.
I did like SO badly for it.
And i'm like going
DEPRESSED just because i don't show it ain't mean i'm not feeling it.
So many things i gotta do. I'm sick,tired, frustrated of it!
Do this. Plan that. Call who. Write whatnot. Look for this person. Think of questions.
I'm tired and i just want a BREAK from EVERYTHING.
I'm sick of having to put up an act for YOU.
YOU STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yea you! I hope you're reading this. You just DONT appreciate your friends. oh nooooooo. You just care about those who you feel will UNDERSTAND you. And when you ask us for our opinion and we give it to you, you end up getting angry with us. Why ask us in the first place.
Get a reality check mister.
I'm sick of putting up with you but i still do.
Why don't you
see and appreciate for ONCE of what we do.
You say you do but you don't show.
We weren't born 3 seconds ago.
I'm really really tired. Tired of everything. Just because i'm optimistic, doesn't mean i don't crumble. Yeaa, look on the bright side. OF COURSE I DO.
I just wanna take a deep damm breath and SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM! !!!!
SCREAM OUT LOUD SO NOT TO FEEL MY FRUSTRATIONS.
I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT DOING WELL.
I CAN'T ADD
I DIDN'T STUDY.
I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.
I HATE MYSELF.
OKAYY?
I'M SICK OF ALMOST EVERY DAMM THING.
I'M TIRED.
AND I JUST WISH
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING SUPER UNHAPPY CAN YOU JUST SAY IT OUT ? DON'T JUST CALL ME DOWN AND THEN SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND WHEN WE ASK YOU , YOU SHUT UP AND SLEEP. SLEEP . SLEEP . SLEEP I'M TIRED OF IT. I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO PUT UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S INSENSITIVENESS. SPARE A THOUGHT FOR ME. YOU PASSED YOUR PAPER STOP BROODING ABOUT THE MARKS. YOU PASSED. FOR GOODNESS SAKE I FAILED THAT STUPID PAPER AND NOOO. JUST BECAUSE I SMILE... WHINE WHINE WHINE..FORGET IT. IT'S OVER. WHAT'S DONE IS DONE. DONE !!!!!!!!!!!! DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!
DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!
DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!
DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!
DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!DONE !!!!!!!!!!!!IT'S GONE. DONE . OVER. CANNOT GO BACK. WRITE ALREADY. NO MORE. CANNOT ERASE. TYPE IN ALREADY. DONE DONE DONE .SO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AD LIVE WITH IT ! It's not helping. Tired. Frustrated. I wanna scream out loud. I want someone to just understand or offer some comforting words. But no, i can't even cry. Because some people will tell me not to regret and stuff. I don't ! because i deserve it. But, when i need to cry , just SHUT UP AND LISTEN !
Angry. Tired. Frustrated.
Yuan!
could YOU make it go away? You know,somehow sometimes i just realise that i'm so in love with you? I look at you everday and I can't believe that you don't know my feelings for you. Somehow i thnk that it's quite obvious but you don't know. Maybe you do? I'm not sure... I think i'll be sad again if you ignore me once more for a long long long long time. Like .. for the rest of my lives? I don't know. Thinking of it makes me sad, that's why i try not to think about it ? I don't know. Sometimes i wish you knew that it is you, i'm talking about. But i dare not think of the consequences sometimes because it might be just so as what i fear everytime. and and and .. having weird dreams nowadays.. i get the feeling it's trying to tell me something. But i just can't seem to put the puzzle pieces together. I know i'm so very much in love with you. And i can't fight this feeling anymore. I gave up long ago. But no matter how i try , what i do .. I know the ending eventually. So why do i still hold on? AM i realyl clinging onto a ghost ? Someone counsel and tell me. Truly. Please. Don't tell me about studies and stuff. I don't want those.
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